"Empty Self Syndrome"

Friends:

The title of this piece, "Empty Self Syndrome" comes from a book that I'm working with right now by Parker J. Palmer entitled, "A Hidden Wholeness". It is a wonderful book (I'm about 1/3 of the way through it) and it offers some mechanisms for healing our broken world. Mr. Palmer posits that we are morally indifferent (lack of deep caring for each other) because of a "fragmented mass society that leaves us isolated and afraid, an economic system that puts the rights of capital before the rights of people, and a political process that makes citizens into ciphers." (page 37 & 38)

He next goes on to say that in his view, the defining problem of our time is not that we live in a "cult of me" but rather that "as community is torn apart by various political and economic forces, more and more people suffer from the empty self syndrome". (pg. 38) The "empty self syndrome" is characterized by a "bottomless pit where their identity should be - an inner void they try to fill with competitive success, consumerism, sexism, racism, or anything that might give them the illusion of being better than others." (pg. 38)

Wow! Mr. Palmer just hit the nail on the head (as far as I'm concerned). Mystics and spiritual writers have long written and taught about the self-emptying that needs to happen in order to be filled with the Spirit. Self-emptying is different from the "empty self" in that self-emptying is a creative process guided by spiritual disciplines, that removes the influence of the world and allows one to get in touch with the spiritual. It is best accomplished, supported and guided in a community.

When there is no spiritual community to be found in a persons life, as evidenced by the rapid decline in faith community attendance, then the world will fill the void. The world of "just do it" and "the one with the most toys wins" is not enough to fill the void left by the true self. How often have I/we heard someone speak to trying to fill the void with sex, drugs, alcohol, overwork, or any other dependancy in order to feel "filled up" (whole)? Twelve-step programs exist, and are successful, in large measure to the fact that they address this empty self syndrome and teach others to fill it with true self instead of a dependence producing entity.

Mr. Palmer goes on, "A strong community helps people develop a sense of true self, for only in community can the self exercise and fulfill its nature: giving and taking, listening and speaking, being and doing....Lacking opportunities to be ourselves in a web of relationships, our sense of self disappears, leading to behaviors that further fragment our relationships and spread the epidemic of inner emptiness." (pg. 39) Thus, we need to find or help to create strong communities that foster the recognition and development of true self. Only then will we be healthy, well and whole.

The "best" spiritual communities offer this kind of healthy environment for their people to develop the recognition of the true self inside them. Without this kind of strong community development, we will be unable to make much headway in creating healthier communities where we live and work. It is only "when we are rooted in true self, we can act in ways that are life-giving for us and and all whose lives we touch. Whatever we do to care for true self is, in the long run, a gift to the world". (pg. 39)

So go and pick up this wonderful book and explore what Mr. Palmer has to say. I have found it life giving, and it has opened Way for me to be able to move forward with Possibilities Journey, Inc. (www.possjrny.org). Our role at PJ is to help people identify ways in which they can become more whole, that is, to fill up their empty selves in a way that leads to abundant life.

Peace and grace,
Dan