Reflection on Illness as a Spiritual Gift

Friends:

I was on the website of Beliefnet (www.beliefnet.com)and found an intriguing slide show entitled, "8 Ways Illness can be a Spiritual Practice" by Toni Weingarten. I really identified with this approach, as it is part-and-parcel of what I'm attempting to do with Possibilities Journey (www.possjrny.org). That is, return spiritual understanding to the processes of healthcare.

Ms. Weingarten (in a matter of 10 slides) shows quite clearly the spiritual aspects of debilitating illness. Spiritual aspects of disease such as the need to slow down and be insightful; practicing acceptance of illness-specific limitations; allowing yourself to be cared for; being present to your situation and many more. All of these are insightful and I think useful as we frame our view of what it means to be whole.

Illnesses take their toll not only on the index person, but on the support system as a whole. My maternal grandmother is in her final days of earthly life. In late-February she developed lower leg pain and then a few days later suffered a stroke. She recovered from the stroke, but the leg's blood supply was compromised (I suspect by a large clot) - it began to die. The decision was made with my grandmother and her care team/family to not try to surgically treat the leg - rather we would just involve hospice and manage the pain.

In the last two weeks, grandma has become more withdrawn and less alert. The hospice nurses have been great in educating my mother, father, and sister (and her family) about death and final life stages. In talking with my mother (and my wife as well) a couple of days ago, however, mom was voicing regrets about not intervening with the leg. I reinforced the fact that it was what grandma wanted, and what I had explained to her and all what would come from that choice. Not doing something in our "just do it" culture is very hard - and so often I have seen advanced directives and personal wishes superceeded by well meaning family members who could not face the spiritual challenge of death. How we need more support in this area of our lives!

My grandmother will die soon, that is a fact. Her death will be sad, but it will not have been tragic, ill informed, or medically, technologically and monetarily abusive (as so much of the death I have witnessed and been a part of in the ICU world has been). Grandma knows that her life as been well lived, as do we. We will be able to celebrate this knowing that she was honored in her final wishes - as difficult as it has been for those close to me to witness.

I guess that this time of illness in my family has not only been spiritual practice, but spiritual discipline. The discipline of loving another as we love ourselves - sometimes the most challenging discipline of all.

Peace,
Dan