Denial and Lying

I'm struggling as a Lay Leader in my congregation right now. There is a malicious, pervasive and altogether non-spiritually focused power skirmish between a small group and the larger leadership body. The small group engages in slander and lying as well as passive-aggressive behaviors in order to keep things "as they've always been" and to keep themselves in power (such as that is).

It has challenged me (and continues to) as I grapple with how to remain in relationship with these persons, and to point out the denial and lying strategies that they are using. My point is to try to be with them to name the behavior and move towards replacing said behavior with one more conducive to community building. I was at a loss, however, to know where to turn for help with this - but the Other knew where to go. At the same time I'm being led to implement a program of caring for those going through divorce. This lead me to a need to find a teen-focused program called, "Life Hurts, God Heals" (www.simplyyouthministry.com).

The "Life Hurts, God Heals" program uses acrostics to re-inforce the learning that participants go through as they attend the course. Thus, "denial" becomes: D= disregards our feelings; E=exhausts us; N=never lets us grow; I=isolates us from G-d; A=abandons our relationships; L=lengthens our pain. The word "truth" becomes: T=time; R=rely; U=unearth; T=total recall; H=honest. Wonderful material to begin to address the issues for really broken people and relationships.

The acrostics also lead us to a place where we realize once again that human behaviors lead to problems whereas a reliance on the teachings of G-d lead us to wholeness (shalom). No healing come without dealing with the issues at hand and in learning how to undo the behaviors that have/are causing so much pain. Without repentance (turning to a different way) we are destined to repeat the same behaviors (recidivism) that have characterized our life to that point. Truly tragic!

Health, wellness and wholeness come from a view outside of ourselves and our ego needs. Denial, lying, slander, idol worship, etc, come from inside our own ego-fueled worldview. Open up to a new worldview and find the healing you deserve as a beloved child of G-d.

Peace and wholeness,
Dan