Truth vs. Disrespect

I engaged in a conversation last week which pointed out an interesting belief model that is currently at work in our society. The belief model is that one can not state an opposite opinion or opposite set of facts/truths in a conversation without be labeled as "disrespecting (diss'ing)" or "hating" or in older people's language "judging". Many have detailed the demise of appropriate public discourse and debate. Certainly the rise of instant access to media to post one's views and commentary, "Shock Jock" radio, expanded cable programming and blog talk radio outlets, impersonal "Facebook" friends, and a cultural dismantling of relationships all have lent their energy to the creation of this societal monster. Additionally, as chronicaled last year in this blog, the rise of idolatry has lead to the demonizing of anyone with the temerity to hold an opposing viewpoint. Any more it's not just that I'm wrong, but that I'm evil and must be publically humiliated for my error (demonization). The discourse I was having was over the role of the call from G-d to love neighbor as self. Self-less love allows for the knowledge that no one is perfect to undergird our response to errors of word or action. Certainly, labeling things or people or "bad" is judgmental and likely not contributory to ultimately working to address needed behavior change. However, in this milleau, what is the role of prophetic witness and dialogue? My point to the other party was that if we can not engage in frank discussions about right and wrong according to established societal and religious norms, then how can we help but continue to devolve into a "world according to me" and ever decreasing ability to relate? I posited the interaction between King David and Nathan post-Bathsheba/Uriah. How is it that Nathan could speak truth to power and hold the King accountable for his transgressions? In our current world view, Nathan would have been accused of disrespect and literally and figuratively flogged (if not worse). I mean, look at how things worked out for the vast majority of prophets in the Bible...it was not a job description that promised a long and happy life! ;-) We need to work as a society on bringing back honest and respectful public and private dialogue. Conversations that seek the truth while honoring the need to be in relationship. For it is in the building of relationship, especially when there is disagreement, that is the hallmark of unconditional love versus disrespect/demonization. In a discussions with persons holding soft-secular or post-secular (post-modern) worldviews, however, it is very challenging to dissent without being perceived as being disrespectful. It is a constant area of discord between me and my teenaged sons - who have this worldview and who have said worldview reinforced in their peer group. There is a lack of investment in important relationships that says, "I value this relationship more than I value winning a debate". When the relationship comes second, then it doesn't matter how the conversation is conducted. This week, consider how you engage with people, especially with those who are on opposite sides of issues from you. Are you loving and open enough to hear other's viewpoints and engage in a passionate but polite debate? When confronted by a person who is openly hostile to your point-of-view, do you try for relationship or for the win (FTW in today's vernacular)? Engaging in relationship building and truth telling will take a change of heart - are you willing? Peace for the journey, Dan

Radical Hospitality

"In faith, there is no possibility of an uninterrupted success story. The only way you’re going to face your wild beasts and your shadows is by failure and rejection, by people not loving you, by having to learn how to love your wife and your children and those who hurt you—the enemies—those who make you aware of your own incapacity to love." This quote is from today and was contained in the daily meditations of the Center for Action and Contemplation of Fr. Richard Rohr. It struck me between the eyes as I was also working with the most recent Weavings magazine and an article on the 23rd Psalm. In Weavings, a reflection piece by Jan Johnson entitled, "Confidence: I Have Everything I Need" talked about finding confidence with difficult people. She was reflecting on the "...You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies..." I admit that I've always struggled with this portion of the Psalm (as have many others) and Ms. Johnson brought it into clarity for me by linking the anointing and overflowing cup with my ability to sit comfortably in the presence of my enemies and offer radical hospitality. Wow!! I then began reflecting on how radical hospitality, or the lack thereof, affects our everyday ability to care for those who are least and lost. Hospitality is really love in action - and the radical nature of that love in action is when we provide hospitality to those whom we find difficult to be in relationship with (aka enemies). Hospitals were originally staffed by women religious as an outflow of this radical hospitality and love and catered to the least and the lost. For most of their history, hospitals were places were people went when they had no where else to go. It's only been in the last 50 to 60 years that hospitals have become places of medical healing (rather than spiritual healing) as technologies and medications have allowed for the possibility of cure. However, as we see clearly in the debate of costs of care, where hospitals used to be in relationship with death, now they keep death at bay and don't invite it to the table. We don't see that death is in fact a part of life - that it too is anointed and given by G-d. We have identified our "own incapacity to love" as healthcare professionals and as human beings. Our incapacity to love each other radically and fully keeps us searching for "cures" and keeps us in an adversarial position with a life reality...death. Therefore we submit our fellow humans to ever more tests and procedures and medicines convincing ourselves that we are doing everything possible (and running up an enormous tab that ultimately always ends in death). We are out of balance and are driven by our fear of failure and of report cards (and yes of the out-of-control legal system). We have capitated the provider-patient relationship out of existence to the point that both sides see the other as enemy rather than fellow travelers on the path. We need to admit our incapacity to love fully and well, this is the only path to healing and wholeness; the only way out of the mess we've created. No set of laws and practice guidelines will ever fix what is fundamentally a spiritual issue (aka a sin). This week, look into your own life to view where you are on the road to sitting down with your enemies. Remember that you are chosen and provided for by a loving and faithful G-d; you are not at the table alone. Remember also that so is your "enemy". Rediscover the road to radical hospitality and bring that back into your daily life. As a sage once said to me, everyday be nicer to everyone than they are to you! Peace for the journey, Dan

Life-long Learning

I heard an amazing tale of survival and faith yeasterday at my church. We've developed a relationship with some folks in Haiti and the sermon was delivered by one of these persons who serves as a translator for United Methodist mission workers. He talked of his survival from the January 2010 earthquake - he was buried alive when a building collapsed around him. While he was buried he prayed and a "voice" told him that though he was buried, he could "still do something". Ultimately he dug his hand and then his head free of the rubble and was able to call out to rescuers. He came through the ordeal with minimal injuries and in fact helped others before going to the hospital to tend to his pain. He titled his message, "The University of Life" and in it he told of how his faith had sustained him during his time of darkness and distress. Life had taught him that though there appeared to be no options, he could always do something. His ability to be in relationship to G-d allowed him to come through the earthquake and the last two years, with an understanding that he is never alone. It got me musing on how my life and life experiences have informed my faith (and vice versa). I've never been through anything remotely as difficult as Jean Claude, but there certainly have been challenges. How about you?! How has your life influenced your faith and your faith journey? I was reading the newest edition of Weavings magazine (Why Are You Afraid?) and there's a writing entitled, "Epektasis". This Greek word means to "stretch forward". Gregory of Nyssa used this term in expanding on the Apostle Paul's letter to Philemon. St. Gregory posits that our whole spiritual life is an ascent towards G-d, a transformational experience that leads us ever onward and upward (think of Jacob's ladder) into a more intimate relationship with the Creator. Is this how you're learning to be - or are you stuck in the past and afraid of the future - in limbo unable to move? Maybe you're stuck in the world, unable to believe in something that isn't "real"? Maybe it's a combination of the above...only you and G-d know for sure. This week, spend some time exploring your fears and the arc of your spiritual journey. If you are stuck in place, ask for help from a spiritual guide or director, church leader, maybe a strong spiritual friend. Look back on your own "classwork" in the University of Life and see what you've already learned, and where the holes might be to get you to the next step on the ladder. Peace for the journey, Dan

First Things...

C. S. Lewis is supposed to have said something to the effect that you can't get first things (priorities) accomplished while focusing on secondary things. This is truth that I've learned both in my personal/professional life and also in the lives of those who populate my world. A large amount of time has been spent in my life trying to discern which of the many competing "things" are those first things. I suspect that is true for you as well. Parenting a newly minted adult (18 years of age) has been a struggle over the last 18 months as I've tried to lead him to decide on what is first in his life and what he'd like to pursue. After those months of hard slogging, we seem to have come to a place where he has come to a decision on what's first...only time will tell if it is "right" for him or not. In my sermon from Sunday I reflected on the need to set G-d first and have no other gods before. It was a sermon directed at focusing on what we're most devoted to...what rules our lives both as individuals and communally. I was reflecting on Psalm 16 and also on Mark 1 where it is important to set your priorities each day with the most important part not changing. It is so easy in our lives to create mini-gods or idols (power, prestige, money, possessions, etc) and lose sight of the first thing that is the only G-d to give life. All of our idols simply steal away our time, energy, resources, spirit and give nothing in return. How often have you found it to be true that "work won't keep you warm at night" or "you can't take it with you"? Pursuit of worldy things instead of "first things" will always leave you wanting and wishing. This week, consider what's first in your life - what you're most devoted to or focused on. Is it G-d or is it something that has become a god in your life? If you are focusing on lesser gods, or letting those rule your life, then you are living a life run by secondary priorities. They may seem important, but in contrast to the "first" priority of G-d and what G-d wants for you to be and to do, there's no question that these things are far less important than they appear. Put G-d first in your life and keep G-d there. If you do, the rest of your life will be filled with meaning and purpose and will take care of itself. Peace for the journey, Dan

Primer

Doing a little painting on my younger son's room this weekend. He's finally outgrown the bed he's had for the last 10 years, and the motorcycle wall paper. He's chosen his color scheme and it was time to do the painting. I was reminded again about the importance of prepping and priming to the overall success of the job. Yesterday I delivered a sermon on devotion and the focus was all about the role of preparation and focusing on what is important. The role of returning for a primer. In days gone by beginning-level students were given books called "Primers". These tomes contained the building block information that the students would need to learn in order to be able to continue to gain knowledge. While kids these days don't use Primers anymore, the concept is still important. For us as spiritual people, the idea of returning to the basics of faith is important as we attempt to continue our spiritual journeys. I found my way back to the Psalms of Ascent (#120-134). These songs were sung by pilgrims on their way to Jerusalem. They're know as ascent songs because no matter what road you took, you had to ascend to get to the Temple Mount. Often, one had to make a substantial commitment to journey to Jerusalem, often through wilderness that was lonely and dangerous. It was not something that was undertaken without serious planning and preparation. Focusing on our journey and on our need to get back to the building blocks of faith are important for us so that we do not lose momentum or stop our journey altogether. As everyone knows, once momentum is lost, it takes a lot of energy to get it going again. This week, return again to those articles of faith that are primary to your understanding of your religion. Return to the Book and find your way to the bedrock of your faith. If you haven't read the Ascent Psalms in a while, refresh your devotional time with them - they may just re-ignite your spiritual fire. Peace for the journey, Dan

Careful Wishing

There's and old adage that states, "be careful what you wish for". Growing older, I'm more in contact with that adage now than I ever have been in the past. Raising children in this current age is fraught with issues that I appear to be contantly having to evolve against. Technology driven problems and concerns coupled with a post-secular or post-modern worldview of my children makes me wish for the time before machines and technology ruled the U.S; before "reality T.V." took over the airwaves; before the world was so hateful and violent. Reality brings me back to the wonderful boon that technology often is. Finding the balance between risk and burden is always a complex and aggravating task. On the one hand I can talk Skype-to-Skype (face-to-face) with anyone around the world at no cost. I can share thoughts and dreams (as I'm doing now) to anyone who can access this blog via the internet and world wide web. Hackers can penetrate the firewall and steal my personal data and wipe out my bank acocunts and ruin my credit history in the blink of an eye. Constant vigilance is the watchword of this age...but hasn't it always been? Wishing for a different time and place is a passive and unhelpful escapism. Spiritually, I'm in a better place than ever though often it feels like I'm in exile. Exile is not a bad place as the Israelites found in Babylon - Babylon had it's wonders. The idol worship that had lead to their downfall was replaced in the remnant with a renewed focus on G-d and G-d's promises to them as a chosen people. Fifty years of capitivy pass and they are released to go and rebuild Jerusalem and the Temple. That starts a period of approximately 600 years of promise before radicals arouse the wrath of Rome and the Temple is destroyed around 70 C.E. Perhaps my time of exile will bring with it the seeds of a rebuilding - that is something to wish for. This week in the post-Easter and post-Passover time, what is your careful wish? Write it down and put it somewhere that you will find it again in a year or so. It will be a good opportunity to reflect on whether the wish was careful or pie-in-the-sky. Peace for your journey, Dan

Where's Your Treasure?

I'm once again embarking on the process of developing a sermon to deliver this Sunday at my home church. I've come to realize over the past couple of years that sermons are never truly finished. Yes, one gets to a place where there is a text to share by the given due date, but the workings of the Spirit are never truly complete. My focus for this Sunday (often termed "Low Sunday" due to the decreased number of people in the pews following Easter and a play on words from the Highest of Holy days in Christianity) is devotion. The book that I'm using to prepare my reflection (in addition to the Bible) is called "Momentum for Life" by Rev. Michael Slaughter. Rev. Slaughter develops an acronym "DRIVE" as a tool to help people re-engage in their spiritual journey and keep moving forward. I'm starting off with "D" for devotion. Devotion is defined as a "focused commitment of time and energy; dedicated; faithful; deep affection." I'm reminded of a statement by Jesus in the New Testament that tells people to be careful about where there treasure is for that is where there heart is also. In other words, what you value most (treasure) is where you will put your time and resources (your heart). Where is our treasure in the U.S.? One can tell our priorities as a nation by looking at where our tax dollars are spent. What entities gobble up the greatest proportion? In 2010, 51% of discretionary spending went to the DoD, while 46% went to agricultural subsidies, highway construction and federal courts (only 3% for international activities such as foreign aid). The same year, mandatory spending saw 38% for Medicare/Medicaid and 33% for Social Security with the remainder for food stamps, retirement, disability, etc. Where is our national heart? It's pretty clear where our national treasure is. What about you personally? Where is your personal treasure and what are you most devoted to? It's clear that faith communities have become less and less a place for people to invest their treasure (here meaning prayers, presence, gifts, service and witness). Trends across denominations and faith traditions show that many financial givers treat faith community giving like any other donation to charity. Thus, faith communities have lost their narrative for sacrificial giving and have become like the March of Dimes, American Cancer Society or Habitat for Humanity (to name just a few). People's hearts do not seem to be primarily in the faith community - rather they are scattered in exile across many good and worthy causes. The solution is to reach out into those in exile and reconnect them with a life giving narrative. This week, take a good long look at the things you're most devoted to. Where is it that you place your treasure (not just your money - your time, talent, etc)? In this time post-Easter and Passover, it may be time to reconnect with a life giving story that will ignite your heart and your spiritual journey. A reconnection that can bring you out of exile into a land of devotion. Peace for the journey, Dan

Rules of Engagement

Musing today on engagement...no not the type that preceeds marriage, rather the type that exists in our everyday lives. Why is it that we don't seem to be able to engage fully (maybe even sacrificially) anymore? Certainly there are a huge number of things vying for our attention at any given moment. This level of distraction certainly hampers our ability to think deeply and fully about what needs to heppen in our lives. Our distance from meaningful beliefs (following up on Monday's post) is also a part of the equation. Our inability to stand for something means that we do in fact fall for anything. We donate a portion of our time and wealth because we are just too busy and stressed to think we can engage any deeper. Is that really the case, however? Is our lack of significant engagement really a consequence of being overwhelmed? I don't think that fully explains why we do not take full responsibility for our health care decisions and other major life decisions (Advanced Directives, wills, etc). Think about what occurred for the people under the old Soviet regime when it came apart in the late 1980's. Generations had been given everything by the State and had come to expect that this would be the norm. They were actively discouraged if not forbidden to attend a faith community. Thus the only thing in their worldview was the State and what it provided. When the system disbanded, the people had nothing to cling to and were so totally disempowered that they couldn't find the capacity to engage in creating a new system that ran on their power and initative. Russia is still in the midst of this (see recent "elections") more than 20 years later. The rules of engagement require fully empowered and enabled persons who see the need for their acitivity and decision making. How about for us in the U.S. as it comes to oour health and well being? What are the rules of engagement for us? We have been disempowered to care for ourselves. We still believe (to a large extent) that technology and pharmacology can cure every ill - and undo all kinds of poor health choices. We are disengaged because we believe the rhetoric and marketing drivel that says you don't have to be disciplined in your eating or other health behaviors, we can fix you. Full engagement in our health, wellness and wholeness requires a level of truth in advertizing that we are unlikely to see. Even without that though, we need to have leaders who are courageous enough to speak truth to power and help people find their way out of their inertia. Belief in a higher power is one way out of the mess we're in. Daily practice and devotional time can lead to a different life view and world view that is empowering and life giving. This week, as we celebrate Easter and Passover, look to the teachings of the faith of the ages to find a way to fully engage in your life, health, wellness and ultimately wholeness. Peace for the journey, Dan

Choosing to Believe

Today's post comes from an interview in the April 4th edition of the Christian Century. The interviewee is an elderly Carmelite sister, Ruth Burrows. She is answering a question on faith or lack thereof. She says, "Many people think they have no faith because they feel they haven't. They do not realize that they must make a choice to believe, take the risk of believing, of committing themselves and setting themselves to live out the commitment. Never mind that they continue to feel that they do not believe. Under cover of being 'authentic' we can spend our lives waiting for the kind of certainty we cannot have." That's really the rub, isn't it? Waiting for certainty, we neglect to choose to believe anything and we waste our lives in nothingness. Life is about choices. Faith is about choices. Ergo, choosing faith then might just lead to choosing life - life in all its inherent messiness and ambiguity. One has to take a risk that the choice to believe might be wrong, or that the thing to be believed in might be inadequate. This fear of failure is what keeps many people from committing to a faith community. The fear of what others might say; of being "needy" enough to want to belong to a community; of wanting to believe that there is something larger and more wise that ourselves; of turning over control of our life; of unknowing. We never know how our choices are going to work out - even "sure things" sometimes lose. Choosing to believe in something other than myself is difficult to do and requires daily recommitment. It is a painful process of transformation that is not clean nor easy. It is a journey that is difficult to name for others around me, and thus it is difficult to understand. It comes down to a "gut" feeling, or what I like to call a G-d nudge. It's a thought or feeling that just won't go away. A vague uneasiness and discomfort that I've learned to heed and to discern the root cause. Belief for me has come in fits and spurts over time. I agree with Sister Burrows, however, you have to take the risk of believing before any growth is possible. This week as observant Christians celebrate Holy Week and Easter and observant Jews celebrate Passover - choose to believe. Take the risk that millions of persons do today, and billions have done for thousands of years. It will lead to a life that is full and beautiful and worth living. Peace for the journey, Dan