Choosing to Believe

Today's post comes from an interview in the April 4th edition of the Christian Century. The interviewee is an elderly Carmelite sister, Ruth Burrows. She is answering a question on faith or lack thereof. She says, "Many people think they have no faith because they feel they haven't. They do not realize that they must make a choice to believe, take the risk of believing, of committing themselves and setting themselves to live out the commitment. Never mind that they continue to feel that they do not believe. Under cover of being 'authentic' we can spend our lives waiting for the kind of certainty we cannot have." That's really the rub, isn't it? Waiting for certainty, we neglect to choose to believe anything and we waste our lives in nothingness. Life is about choices. Faith is about choices. Ergo, choosing faith then might just lead to choosing life - life in all its inherent messiness and ambiguity. One has to take a risk that the choice to believe might be wrong, or that the thing to be believed in might be inadequate. This fear of failure is what keeps many people from committing to a faith community. The fear of what others might say; of being "needy" enough to want to belong to a community; of wanting to believe that there is something larger and more wise that ourselves; of turning over control of our life; of unknowing. We never know how our choices are going to work out - even "sure things" sometimes lose. Choosing to believe in something other than myself is difficult to do and requires daily recommitment. It is a painful process of transformation that is not clean nor easy. It is a journey that is difficult to name for others around me, and thus it is difficult to understand. It comes down to a "gut" feeling, or what I like to call a G-d nudge. It's a thought or feeling that just won't go away. A vague uneasiness and discomfort that I've learned to heed and to discern the root cause. Belief for me has come in fits and spurts over time. I agree with Sister Burrows, however, you have to take the risk of believing before any growth is possible. This week as observant Christians celebrate Holy Week and Easter and observant Jews celebrate Passover - choose to believe. Take the risk that millions of persons do today, and billions have done for thousands of years. It will lead to a life that is full and beautiful and worth living. Peace for the journey, Dan