Compassionate Courage

My family and I had to say good-bye to our beloved yellow Labrador Max on Monday. Max was 8 years old and had developed lymphoma. Over the course of the last 4 months he had started with terrible diarrhea that we treated conservatively, hoping that it was inflammatory bowel disease and not cancer. The end came swiftly when he stopped eating on Friday. We took him to the Vet and after a few hours of evaluation, the news came that he was terminal and did we wish to treat or to euthanize? He was so weak and was suffering, so we decided the latter. All were there to say final good-byes and to love him into the next phase of his life. It struck me once again, given my 20+ years in human intensive care practice, how much more humane our approach to death is in animals than in our fellow humans. Granted, lymphoma in dogs is not curable and my knowledge of the downsides of chemotherapy limits my desire to use those chemicals, but we have the ability to end suffering in a very loving way. In my experience of thousands of human deaths, it is rare to see decision makers be able to make the some kind of compassionately courageous decision that we did for our beloved pet. To be clear, I'm not an advocate for physician-assisted suicide or human euthanasia, however, the whole decision making process around end-of-life needs to be re-evaluated in light of the reality that death is a part of life. Of all the humans that have ever lived, none of them was immortal - something to remember. I'm helping my children (16 and almost 19) work through their grief and their questions around euthanasia. I'm attempting to aid them as they come to grips with the moral and ethical issues surrounding ending the life of a living creature. My sons have been raised in the church and understand the sanctity of life...my younger son asked if we had killed Max. It's a great question and one that led into a moral and ethical discussion of what happened and our intent to ease suffering in the face of certain death rather than a desire to kill. I wish that those discussions could happen in the same way for humans with their healthcare professionals. Too often I have witnessed a lack of courage when it comes to discussions of death from both patients/families and healthcare decision makers. Hospice and Palliative Care show us the way. In future blog posts I will explore this vital service and hopefully dispel some mythology surrounding it. If you haven't done an Advanced Directive or similar instrument; if you haven't discussed what you'd like at the end of your life, now's the time to do those things. We only have today - no guarantees of tomorrow. Peace for the journey, Dan